Dear Church Family and Friends,
This past Sunday Connie Oppel helped me to realize that our church possesses a secret that could very well solve our financial dilemmas and turn our sanctuary into Vancouver’s number one tourist attraction. If one pays close attention to the members of our church in their 90s, one can quickly ascertain a clue as to what this secret is. Our 90-plus-year-olds are universally young at heart. They are active, witty, and full of life. They have got more energy than many who are half their age. There really can be no explanation for this fact other than that our church possesses the legendary fountain of youth.
For too long, archeologists and amateur treasure hunters have been swimming in the wrong fish tank. They have been looking in places like Florida and Caribbean when the real fountain is not a spring of water rising from the tropic heat. It is the multi-colored light that streams through our stained-glass skylight. Its rejuvenating powers are likely to inspire scientific studies and nut job theories for years to come. We really need to start charging an entrance fee for the privilege of sitting in our sanctuary. We will then lick that mortgage debt in no time.
Our 90-plus-year-olds are truly physical and spiritual marvels who deserve to be celebrated, so that is precisely what we plan to do this Sunday in worship. Due to our fountain of youth, our members tend to look younger than their age, so if you are in your 90s please let myself or Connie know before Sunday. We want to make sure we recognize you. You are an inspiration to us all.
Your brother in Christ,
Pastor Brooks