Hosea: The Dating Coach

Listen now to this sermon by Pastor Brooks on the prophet Hosea.

Scripture Reading—Hosea 2: 14-23

Recently, for the first time, I watched part of a show called “United Dates of America.” It’s a show hosted by the comedian Steve Harvey, and one of the things he does on the show is set up “the worst daters” in America on dates. Typically, they are paired with super-attractive, charming, and intelligent persons. When the date walks into the room, it is clear that the producers of the show want to give the audience what is known today as “eye-candy.” The worst dater and the super-attractive date are then videotaped as they have dinner or drinks. Harvey uses this footage to give the daters feedback. Without fail, the worst daters do things that are instant turn-offs for their dates. In one episode, “the worst dater in Oregon” takes the initiative to order all of the food and drinks for her date without any input from him. A guy who would never order beer for himself is ordered a beer. The worst dater proceeds to inform him that she is going to make him a fan of microbreweries. Then, true to her Portland roots she orders him a kale salad for his entrée.

The footage from the dates can make you cringe, laugh, and thank God that your own dates were never videotaped. The key for Harvey in reforming the daters on his show is that he is able to lift up a mirror so that they can see what they are doing wrong. In the episode I watched, the worst dater gave her super-handsome date a compatibility interrogation in their first 15-minutes together. Are you looking to get married? Do you want to have kids? Are you okay with my not having a six-pack? Those are good questions but that dater needed to slow things down a bit.

Not long after watching the Steve Harvey show for the first time, it occurred to me that essentially Hosea is a dating coach. In our scripture for today, we are getting the initial set up. God walks into the room, and God is looking good. It’s like, “Wow, this is who you get to date. You couldn’t ask for anyone better. God is super-loving and has all these great qualities. God is going to turn your bad times to good times. Moreover, God is looking for a long-term committed relationship in which you are going to feel safe and secure for the rest of your life. You’re no longer going to be with that loser who treats you awful. You’re going to be with your dream date.”

Hosea is helping us realize that you would be a fool to be interested in anyone else. Of course, this is exactly what Israel has a history of doing. Like a good dating coach, Hosea lifts up the mirror. Israel’s mistakes quickly become apparent. Despite this wonderful, attractive date, Israel decides to go after a loser. In Hosea’s time, this meant going after the Canaanite storm and fertility God named Baal. Moreover, Hosea’s mirror clearly reveals that Israel had been doing all the wrong things to keep its relationship with God going strong. Israel had been going through the motions in worship while committing the same old injustices it had always committed outside of worship. In essence, Hosea is saying, “If you are going to be truly committed, then you have to do more than go on a date wearing the right clothes and the right makeup.”

When it comes to our own country, we might ask ourselves whether a mirror might show us some things that would make us feel a bit embarrassed or ashamed? Instead of being attracted to the God of love and justice, are we sometimes attracted to the god of materialism and wealth? Instead of being attracted to the God of peace and justice, are we sometimes attracted to the god of military might and power? Moreover, are we falling short in some areas of our lives? Are we failing to live out our values when it comes to matters of justice in the realms of poverty, race, gender, etc?

Admittedly, Hosea was not terrific at living out these values himself. Today, we might cringe when reading parts of Hosea, especially when it comes to sexism and the negative use of female imagery. With the problems of Hosea kept in mind, I still believe that we are in need of modern day Hoseas who perform the prophetic task of lifting up the mirror to our own lives. We need prophets who coach us on how to do right as a society and as a nation. If we are careful not to reinforce sexism or confine our imagery to heterosexual couples, I believe the metaphor of marriage that’s at the heart of Hosea still has potential. The people of Israel are married to God but they keep messing around with Baal. Today, do we still have trouble with ethical and spiritual fidelity?

One of the aspects of Hosea’s marriage metaphor that I like is that it has an incarnational element to it. God isn’t up high and out there. Instead, we experience God in our everyday lives. Hosea says, “I will take you for my wife in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy.” In other words, when we experience love and justice, we are intimately experiencing God.

If this is the case, then it makes sense to think of visiting a new church as being like a date. I like this metaphor better than the metaphor of shopping for a church. That makes church sound like this object you buy if it is shiny and has the right accessories. Dating a church is different because if you are doing it right then you are looking for the qualities that tell you whether or not a church actually embodies the Spirit of God. Is the welcome genuine? Does the church strive to embrace everyone? Do I get a sense of hospitality? Are they simply trying to entertain me on Sunday morning? Or, are they actually doing things that embody love and justice? These are not only good questions for a guest here, but they are good questions for us as a church as we lift up the mirror and consider ourselves.

I think this metaphor continues to work well when one joins the church. I would be interested in getting your feedback on this because I have been thinking about making this part of our new member orientation. Is it fair to say that becoming a member of a church is like getting married? Is it important to make sure we don’t take joining a church lightly? Is it important to think of being a member as involving a serious, long-term commitment? Moreover, we can think of this commitment as being one that involves some give and take, some occasional negotiation, some willingness to not always get one’s way, some willingness to live with the warts and disappointments that come after the honeymoon is over. Part of me fears that comparing membership in a church to marriage would scare people away. It is like, “Wow, that’s more commitment than I am looking for.” I don’t want our membership to be cut in half in the next month.

At the same time, if we are honest with ourselves, we realize that while a marriage can involve some difficult moments of hanging in there for better or for worse, marriage also entails the greatest of gifts: love. To experience love in the fullest and over the long haul, it makes sense that it would require some serious commitment. Sure, God’s love is unconditional and will always be there for us. Sure, God will still love us if we stray away, if we don’t even attend a church, a church that ideally embodies the Spirit of God. Still, one can’t enjoy the fruits of God’s unconditional love if one is always busy dating someone else or spending all one’s time in places where God is never even considered. We might think of our Sabbath time on Sundays as being like our date night. To truly enjoy our marriage, we need to give some time to it. We can’t take our partner for granted.

I am interested in hearing whether this marriage metaphor works for you. Does it poetically capture your experience of faith? One of the poetic parts of our passage for today that I like comes in the literal translation of the second sentence. The Valley of Achor can be translated as the Valley of Troubles. God is flirting with Israel and God is saying, “Hey, if you marry me, I will turn your Valley of Troubles into a door of hope.” God’s love can do that for us, but I believe we first have to be there, ready and willing to stick with God through thick and thin. That’s when our valley of troubles can turn into a door of hope. Amen.

 

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