The Greatest Flood Since Noah

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Hebrew Scripture Reading—Genesis 7: 11-15

In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month, all the fountains of the great deep burst forth and the windows of the heavens opened. The rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights. On the very same day Noah, his wife, their children Shem, Ham, and Japheth along with their spouses entered the ark. Every kind of wild animal, every kind of domestic animal, every kind of slithering thing that crawls on the earth, and every kind of bird—anything that chirps or has wings—came to Noah and entered the ark.  They came two by two from all flesh in which the breath of life resides.

The sermon this morning is an interactive sermon, and before we begin, I first need to collect some data.  How many of you have a cat living with you at home?  Raise your hand.  How many of you have more than one cat?  How many do you have?  How many of you have a dog?  How many more than one dog?  How many do you have?  What other kinds of animals do people have?  Raise your hand and tell me what kind of animal and how many you have.  Very good.  This information will come in handy in just a minute.

Imagine if you will that it is the year 2020.  Among the members of our church is a state representative named Mitch Marboy and his 13-year old daughter Lisa.  (They joined in 2018).  Mitch has been described in the Columbian as having the “heart of a kitten” and “the personality of a bulldog.”  His daughter Lisa is known as being somewhat precocious.  The previous year she had embarrassed her father by going door to door in their Hazel Dell neighborhood with an animal rights petition directed at her father.

Animal rights was a sore subject with Mitch ever since Lisa came home from school declaring that she was not only a Vegan, but the president of the Vegan Society at her middle school.  Mitch didn’t even know what the difference was between a Vegan and Vegetarian.  For months, he rankled Lisa each time he lamented to other parents at church that his daughter was one of those politically correct vegetarian fanatics.  To which, Lisa responded that she was a Vegan and did not believe in killing or exploiting animals in any way.  Not only was milk off limits but so was honey.

The rift between Mitch and Lisa was especially painful because animals had once been a source of their bonding.  They had a multi-colored mutt named Speedo that looked like it was part shih tzu and part pit bull.  The dog had been rescued from a horror house puppy mill that specialized in exotic dogs.  This act of goodwill was something of which Lisa perpetually reminded her father.  “Dad,” she would say, “how come you care so much about the suffering of dogs, but you don’t care about the suffering of other animals?  You’re not morally consistent.”  Lisa was adamant it was not a moral argument for her father to simply declare that meat was tasty and nutritious.  Lisa also reminded her father that he had voted for animal cruelty legislation two years earlier in the wake of a dog fighting scandal.

While Mitch hated being in conflict with his daughter and had started to eat his hamburgers secretly during lunch breaks at work, he was proud that his daughter had suddenly become knowledgeable about how the political system worked.  She was additionally developing a great vocabulary that would prepare her well for the SATs.  Lisa was often declaring that animals deserved to be legally protected because they were sentient beings.  As if her father did not know what that meant, she would add, “You know beings who can feel and perceive what happens to them.”

Despite Mitch’s appreciation for his daughter’s maturing intellect, the situation in the Marboy household had become tense.  They had even asked their pastor for his view on the matter, since both thought he was such a great guy.  In his office, the pastor at first waxed philosophical about how animals were not only a gift from God, but that we experience the grace of God in our relationships with pets like Speedo.  There was a grace to be found in the affection and companionship pets give and the care and attention humans give in return.  Both Mitch and Lisa appreciated these fine thoughts, but it did not help them with their problem.  Mitch said he was concerned with the suffering of pets, but that he thought certain animals could be revered as living creatures placed on this earth by God and still provide food for humans.  Food seemed like a gift from God.  “Look at the animal kingdom,” said Mitch as his necked swelled and turned a light shade of purple.  “Tigers, lions, and bears eat their red meat without any moral qualms.  Why can’t humans?”

Lisa was not moved by this argument.  Lisa countered, “It is precisely because humans can think morally that we shouldn’t act like bears and simply eat other animals because we are bigger and stronger or have knives and guns.”  The pastor did not take a side.  Either he was too weak-willed or he really believed what he said:  It was best if the two of them came to their own conclusions rather than hoping that he might give the perfect answer to this very complex and difficult issue.

The whole matter may have been just another household dispute if it had not been for what happened a few weeks later.  Beginning on October 13th of 2020, it rained for forty days and forty nights.  It rained so hard that the Columbia River overflowed along with Lake Vancouver.  The news anchors were calling it the greatest flood since Noah.  Soon people were being forced to evacuate their homes and find lodging in emergency refuge centers located on higher ground.  In Hazel Dell, it was First Congregational UCC that was designated as the refuge center for the community.  As it happened, it was Representative Mitch Marboy who was the one assigned to oversee the operation of the center.

Marboy rose to the occasion and relished in the opportunity to be a leader in a time of crises, but he found himself turning an eggplant purple when Lisa began a campaign among the residents to have their animals permitted to stay at the church throughout the duration of the storm.   Outside the doors of the church, residents had brought 60 dogs, 50 cats, 48 chickens, 47 kelli fish, 4 guinea pigs, 3 sheep, 2 llama, 2 ducks, 2 frogs, 1 cockatoo, 1 horse, 1 “fishy,” 1 beta fish, 1 turtle, and 1 temporary pig. Marboy stood before them clutching a list of health code regulations for emergency centers that expressly forbid there being any animals allowed on the premises.  Even if they had the room, it was strictly forbidden.

For Lisa, such regulations were not a signal of defeat but a cry to arms.  “We’ve been living for years with our animals, and they haven’t made us sick,” cried Lisa.  “This isn’t a matter of health.  This is a matter of political will!” she declared.  Soon Lisa was leading the residents in chants of “Don’t kill Speedo!”  Fearing a riot that would destroy church property, the pastor soon interrupted.  “People!  People!” he said trying to muster a booming voice.  “Let’s work something out!  Let’s see if we can’t find a solution that will make everyone happy.”  Quickly, a council was formed with people of diverse opinions.  They were charged with the responsibility of finding possible solutions.  After an hour of deliberation, they arrived at four possibilities that they decided should be presented to all of the residents for a vote.

All of you are the voters, so listen carefully to your choices:

Option One: Let all of the animals indoors.

Option Two: Leave the animals in their homes to drown.

Option Three: Build a pen for animals outside the church and pray that the water doesn’t rise any higher.

Option Four: Build a giant boat for the animals so that they can survive any amount of rain that comes.

So let’s have a vote: who wants option one…option two…option three…and option four? And so the majority of the people voted for option four, and they built a huge boat for the animals.  Not long after this, the rains came to an end.  Gradually, the water receded until finally there was dry land once again.  Fortunately, all of the humans and all of the animals were saved.  When the doors of the sanctuary finally opened, everyone poured out of the church and ran down to the labyrinth to celebrate, and when they looked back at the church, they saw stretched across the sky beyond it a giant rainbow, a magnificent gift from God.  Amen.

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