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First Hebrew Scripture Reading-Jonah 1:1-6
Second Hebrew Scripture Reading-Jonah 1:7-17
What follows is the script for a play that featured Claudia Martin as the narrator, Rev. Brooks Berndt as Jonah, and Marnie Wright as God.
Narrator: For centuries, scholars have wondered what took place in the belly of the fish. Until recently, this story was unknown. Now, for the first time ever, we are delighted to present to you the complete story of Jonah.
(All the lights in the sanctuary are turned off. Jonah is sitting behind the communion table where no one can see him.)
Jonah: Ew…yuck!
(Jonah stands up and is seen by the audience for the first time. He is holding a lantern.)
My goodness…is this the inside of a fish? Why I believe it is. I can’t say I have always wanted to see the inside of a fish, and now I can see why. It’s not exactly a pretty sight. Doesn’t smell very good either. I wonder if that’s acid. That would explain why my skin has that tingly, burning sensation. I don’t imagine I will be able to survive down here for very long eating small, partly digested fish.
What bad luck! And, I thought I was born to be a prophet who would become famous and make it into the scriptures. I can just hear what they will say now. One scribe will be like, “Oh, do you remember that guy named Jonah?” And, the other will be like, “Yeah, the one who was eaten by a fish. We probably shouldn’t include him in the scriptures. That wouldn’t be real inspiring.”
It’s not my fault I got a lousy assignment. No other prophets have had to travel all by their lonesome selves into the land of a foreign enemy, and then God didn’t exactly give me an endearing message for them. I was supposed to tell them how wicked they’ve been. I am sure that would have gone over well. Why couldn’t God have had me tell my own king that he needed to feed a few empty stomachs and control his libido? You can’t blame me for running away from God. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
God: Uh-hmmm…hmmm-hmmm…
Jonah: O great, this fish has got indigestion.
God: I beg your pardon.
Jonah: Did this fish just talk to me?
God: No, Beatrice doesn’t talk to humans.
Jonah: I should think not, but if you’re not Beatrice, than…
God: That’s right. I am the one who gave you that lousy assignment.
Jonah: God?! Well, you see…I didn’t really mean it that way.
God: Oh, in what way did you mean it?
Jonah: I meant it in the joking sort of way. You know: I am running away from you God. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.
God: Ah, I see. That’s your idea of how a prophet is supposed to act.
Jonah: Well, it depends upon your definition of prophet. You see…
God: You know Jonah instead of running away you could have talked with me first.
Jonah: O come on God, the whole thing was just hopeless. I know danger when I see it. I know what Nineveh’s like.
God: I don’t deny that going to Nineveh was dangerous, but sometimes being a prophet means you have to have a bit of courage and hope as well as a bit of faith.
Jonah: And what exactly is that supposed to mean? You yourself just said it would be dangerous. When I was growing up, I learned early on not to put my hand in the fire. You were telling me to throw my whole body in the fire, and it’s not like I would be able to get out of the fire real easy after I got to Nineveh. If faith means jumping into a fire, then no thanks.
God: Now, we are getting somewhere. We need to talk about these things, Jonah. Sure, sure, if you see fire, don’t put your hand in it, but there is a difference between something that might be fire and something that is fire. Nineveh falls into the might-be-fire category.
Jonah: How about the 99.9%-likely-to-be-fire category?
God: Fine, but my point is that faith is about leaving room for the unexpected.
Jonah: Great! And just what would make me believe in this kind of faith?
God: Tell me, Jonah, where are you now?
Jonah: In the belly of a fish.
God: Did you expect to be in the belly of a fish when you woke up this morning?
Jonah: No.
God: Well, then, right now you are literally in a space in which the unexpected has happened.
Jonah: So if I were to summarize your perspective, I might say that the stomach of a fish represents faith. God, I would think there would have been more pleasant images in the world that you could have chosen.
God: The life of faith is not always a path strewn with flowers. Sometimes it can get a little difficult and strenuous.
Jonah: …like living inside of a fish.
God: Yes, yes, now, we are getting somewhere.
Jonah: I can’t say that this life of faith looks very promising. In fact, it looks like it might be a rather short life. This burning sensation seems to be getting worse by the minute.
God: But what is faith about again?
Jonah: Fish stomachs?
God: No, you are being too literal.
Jonah: Ah, I see it’s about leaving room for the unexpected.
God: Yes, yes.
Jonah: So, are you going to get me out of here?
God: Not exactly.
Jonah: O great! So what is that supposed to mean?
God: If you had had faith when I told you to go to Nineveh, what would you have done?
Jonah: Well, I suppose I would have gone to Nineveh.
God: And why would you have done that?
Jonah: Because you would have given me some hope that they might have actually listened.
God: Now, you are finally starting to understand what I have to offer. For those who have faith, I can give courage and hope. Faith is the key to possessing the strength of a prophet. Well, I think you can handle Beatrice now.
Jonah: Okay, how about a few tips of advice, huh? What exactly am I supposed to do to get out of here? (Jonah walks over to the wall of the sanctuary.) God? Hello, God?
Hmmm…(Jonah pats the wall.) Hmmm…Ohhhh….Tickle, tickle, tickle…tickle, tickle, tickle…
Narrator: And, then, the fish spewed forth Jonah upon the dry land. From there, Jonah went to Nineveh, where the king and all of the people repented of their wickedness. Because of this, Jonah became a famous prophet who made it into the holy scriptures, but it was not until today that Jonah’s inspiring story of faith was heard in its entirety. Amen.
