To listen to this sermon, click here.
Hebrew Scripture Reading—Proverbs 23: 22-26
This morning I want to acknowledge that the words “mother” and “motherhood” can mean lots of different things to different people. For this reason, when I use the word “mother” this morning, I want you to think about whoever it is in your life that has represented the best of parental love in whatever form that may be.
With that said, as a preacher I feel like you pay me to do some intellectual heavy lifting, so today I’m going to tackle the hard subject of why you wouldn’t want to neglect that positive source of parental love. In fact, I have got three good reasons for why you wouldn’t want to neglect your mother. I’m not sure if this sermon makes my mother more relieved because I’ve finally arrived at three reasons or more anxious because it has taken me this long. I wouldn’t be surprised if the subject of this sermon has already caused some of you to recall one of Bill Cosby’s old routines. It’s the one where he talks about how his father established their relationship when he was just seven years old. His father looked at him and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And, it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.” Fortunately, my mother is far more non-violent then Cosby’s father, so that is not one of my three reasons. Let me begin…
Reason # 1: The proper payment for love is love in return.
Now that I am about to become a parent, I must confess that I am appreciating this notion on a much more practical level. As I think about all of the energy, time, and money I am about to devote to another life, I now feel on a deeper level how all of that is a form of love, and I now appreciate more than ever how much my parents loved me. With my mother, I think about all of the meals she made, all of the car rides she gave, all of the football games through which she agonized over my physical safety…the list could go on and on. And, that love didn’t stop when I left for college. There were all those phone calls that served as lifelines pulling me out of whatever academic or romantic despair I found myself in. And, believe me I often found myself suffering from the latter. Probably no one was more happy that I found Eunita than my mother. As I look back on all the tangible expressions of love that my mother gave me, I ask, “How can one neglect someone who has given so much?” Truly, the best payment for love is love return.
Reason # 2: Honor the one who made you who you are.
One of the most heart touching examples of this is the story of Benjamin Carson, one of the most famous neurosurgeons alive in the world today. He was the first surgeon in the world to successfully complete various high level procedures including the separation of twins joined at the back of the head. He was also an early achiever. At the age of 33, he became the youngest person ever to head the Pediatric Neurosurgery department at John Hopkins Hospital. He’s received over 50 honorary doctorates and the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
For all of his success, Carson credits his mother. His mother raised him and his brother as a single parent in Detroit. She worked as a domestic, and it was through this work that she noticed how most of the people she saw as successful in their lives spent more time reading than they spent watching TV. With this in mind, Carson’s mother restricted television time to a couple of predetermined shows, while Carson and his brother had to read two library books a week and write book reports for both. Carson’s mother would then take the reports and return them “with check marks and highlights.” It was not until later that Carson discovered that all of this was “a ruse.” His mother was illiterate with only a third grade education. Ultimately, the reading and writing assignments his mother gave not only made Carson an outstanding student, but they impacted the kind of person he could envision himself becoming. He felt “between the covers of those books” he “could go anywhere, do anything, and be anybody.”
Now, there was a period in high school when Carson went from being A-student to being a C-student who didn’t care. He was hanging out with the wrong crowd and became more concerned with being hip and cool than doing well in school. One day after his mother returned home from working multiple jobs he complained that he did not have enough Italian knit shirts. His mother responded saying, “Okay, I’ll give you all the money I make this week scrubbing floors and cleaning bathrooms, and you can buy the family food and pay the bills. With everything left over, you can have all the Italian knit shirts you want.” After trying that arrangement for awhile, Carson had a new found respect for his mother. He realized that she “was a financial genius” to be able to provide food and shelter for their family, not to speak of clothes. Soon he decided to go back to being an A-student.
In a lot of ways, Carson’s mother made him who he is today. For this reason, he says, “My story is really my mother’s story.” His mother didn’t have much in terms of education or money but through the success of her parenting she has had the effect of changing the lives of people throughout the world. For this reason, Carson declares, “There is no job more important than parenting.”[i] While not all of us might go on to win awards and honorary doctorates, we all have the accomplishments of our good deeds and our service to others. For becoming who we are, many of us have our mothers to thank. As Desmond Tutu has said, “Mercifully, there isn’t anything like the self-made person.”
Reason # 3: Mother’s deserve to be celebrated, not neglected.
In addition to talking about not neglecting one’s mother, our scripture reading this morning also talks about two potential aspects of the parent-child relationship that I want to highlight. First, it talks about parents rejoicing in their children. Second, it says, “My child, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.” Something that dawned upon me this past week is that one of the lessons my mother has taught me is in fact the importance of rejoicing in others, of celebrating others. What spurred my thinking was the story of Melinda Shoaf, a mother from Tennessee who now has four grown children. At breakfast after one New Year’s Eve, she found herself sitting in a stupor. When her husband asked if she was okay, she responded saying that she was totally exhausted. The reason was that she had just finished another holiday season as her family’s “Designated Celebrator—that is, the one who sees to it that a holiday actually happens in the lives of your loved ones.” How many of you either know a “Designated Celebrator” or are one yourself? Let’s give the Designated Celebrators a round of applause!
I know in my family the “Designated Celebrator” is my mother. We do our best to help out, but she’s the one baking cakes for birthdays. She’s the one who to this day still sends me cookies for Halloween and Easter. She’s the one who decorates the house, cooks the meals, and buys a lot of the presents for every Christmas. My mother is the queen of Christmas, and we all love her for it. As soon as Christmas is over, we are already looking forward to next Christmas.
Well, Melinda Shoaf is a lot like my mother. She says, “It’s as if I’m driven by the ancient need to mark the darkness of winter with my little bit of light.” Her kind and sympathetic husband, however, still struggles to understand why she puts herself through all of the hard work and effort every year. To this, she says, “I believe one of the most important things I can do while I’m on this planet is honor those I love through celebrations.” She goes on to say, “I believe that in this world there is and always has been so much sadness and sorrow, so much uncertainty, that if we didn’t set aside time for merriment, gifts, music, and laughter with family and friends, we might just forget to celebrate altogether. We’d just plod along in life.”[ii]
I would go as far as to say that the Designated Celebrators among us are also role models for church life as well. Churches are places where we gather to affirm the life God has given to us, to celebrate that life. We need that time together. We need that bit of light within these walls when the world out there might not always give it. Designated Celebrators are a gift from God to all of us. They are examples of service and dedication. This Mother’s Day don’t neglect your mother. Celebrate your mother. For some, this might even mean taking time to celebrate the celebrator. Amen.
[i] Benjamin Carson, “There Is No Job More Important than Parenting” in This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women, eds. Jay Allison and Dan Gediman, (New York: Henry Holt, 2006), 28-30.
[ii] Melinda Shoaf, “The Designated Celebrator” in This I Believe II: More Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women, eds. Jay Allison and Dan Gediman, (New York: Henry Holt, 2008), 203-205.